Why ‘I Don’t Matter’ Might Be the Key to Finding True Relevance
Ready to rewrite the playbook of your life? The captivating journey of “Mr. Irrelevant” offers inspiration to those who are feeling insignificant.
A not insignificant Truth
Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of the truth arises from the seemingly irrelevant.
—Edgar Allen Poe
Brock Purdy’s Journey from
Underdog to Super Bowl Star
Do you ever find yourself thinking, “I don’t matter.” Are you asking if your contributions – at work, in life, or even in love – matter in the larger scheme of things? You’re not alone. It’s a sentiment that can sink its teeth into even the toughest among us. But what if I told you that one man’s journey from “Mr. Irrelevant” to Super Bowl QB is living proof that our moments of insignificance may be mere illusions?
The Myth of “Irrelevance”
Meet Brock Purdy, the 49ers quarterback for the 2024 Super Bowl. The name probably didn’t ring a bell until very recently, and maybe you’ve never heard his name.
Purdy’s story is the classic underdog tale – and one we usually hear of in the realm of Hollywood sports dramas. Just two years earlier, in 2022, he was the NFL draft’s *last* pick!
Did you know that the last draft pick is called Mr. Irrelevant? Seriously. There’s a parade and everything. “Mr. Irrelevant” is at the center of it all…for being picked last.
Feel Like You Are In Last Place?
But let’s dissect this concept of “irrelevance” that we’re all so afraid of. It’s a funny thing: it lurks in the background– like a shadowy figure that tallies our worth based on comparisons to others, constantly feeding us lies like, “I don’t matter.” Research in psychology tells us that when we engage primarily in upward comparisons to those that have more/look better, we’re committing a cognitive error, ignoring all those who have less/look worse.
This comparison fallacy is the very essence of social comparison theory.
We experience this phenomenon nearly every time we log on to our social media accounts. As we scroll, we see our friend from college took a dream vacation to Europe, our childhood acquaintance living in what looks like a mansion, another engagement post, another pregnancy post…
The problem is we only compare UP on social media, almost never DOWN to someone with a big red nose because they are on day 4 of the flu or someone whose work presentation wouldn’t load.
It’s all about the comparison. To the general population, Brock’s life seems pretty enviable. He’s a professional football player (in the NFL)! But, if he compared himself to all the other draft players, he was in last place and might have experienced some major Imposter Syndrome when he first stepped foot on the field. Perspective, right?
Overcoming the Odds
Purdy’s ascent is the stuff of legends. To rise from the pits of “irrelevance” is one part luck, two parts grit. And, like many stories, Purdy’s success is laced with hard-knock lessons: adversity, a difficult childhood, and even some skepticism from his own teammates (sound familiar?).
He too, likely, faced moments of feeling irrelevant. However, his story is not about staying in that place. It’s about climbing out of it.
Expect to Surprise
When you feel irrelevant, you can do one of two things: either slink away, stew, and listen to the “I don’t matter” thoughts or do something in your power that may have a chance to prove everyone wrong, including yourself (the harshest critic, no doubt).
Imagine this: you get drafted to the NFL and you are playing at your home stadium.
Your parents buy tickets to the game, but not because they want to see you play. In fact, they do not believe you will play at all. They expect you to remain on the bench. The only reason they bought tickets to the game was because they were excited to watch one of their favorite football players, quarterback Tom Brady, on the opposing team! Ouch. Yet, this happened to Purdy.
What did Purdy do? He played one of the best games of his career and beat Tom Brady and the rest of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers that day.
Tackling Feelings of Irrelevance on Valentine’s Day
And speaking of February events, right after the Super Bowl comes V-day.
February 14th is a day when many people say that they feel the most overlooked. If you are single, then you can certainly feel like pretty close to a last pick. But, you could also be making the next pick (exciting!). Maybe you even need to take a second look at someone already around you who hasn’t been selected yet. They might just surprise you if given a chance to play.
If you are coupled up, then you might feel incredibly insignificant when your partner forgets what day it is, does not make plans or reservations, or refuses to acknowledge the day at all.
Your Playbook: Changing the
Narrative
It’s time to turn the tables on what ya got— time to let go of the “I don’t matter” thoughts. You may have heard the trending line “Do it For the Plot,” which essentially means you give something a try just to see how it turns out, not because the situation is perfect or the outcome is guaranteed.
In this way, you can be the quarterback of your life, crafting plays for the situation you are actually in instead of the situation that would be ideal. So, get out there and try even if you feel passed over or get the sense that your coworkers or loved ones are more into some other superstar of the moment. But I hope you don’t actually work with Tom Brady – that could be a bit intimidating!
The Final Drive
I won’t promise that you can waltz into work tomorrow and win your company’s equivalent of a Super Bowl, but I will challenge you to shift your perspective. Identify your strengths, chisel away at your weaknesses, and take the field with the bravado of a champion – one who knows their value, no matter how quiet its roar may be.
So, to all the metaphorical “last picks” out there – whether in work, life, or love – I leave you with a challenge: Start considering your victories as valuable, your efforts as genuine, and your path as anything but irrelevant. Because much like Purdy, you could, well, be the surprise Super Bowl star of your own story. Do it for the plot!!
Ready to rewrite the playbook and reclaim your relevance? Ready to push aside the endless stream of “I don’t matter” thoughts? It starts with a change in your mental game. And, we just happen to know some psychologists who are experts in just that. SCORE!! Or should I say TOUCHDOWN!!
Either way, remember, we are rooting for you!!
